So remember when we made new year's resolutions 20 days ago? And PROMISED ourselves that we would stick to them? Well, how's yours going? If you answered: GREAT! I haven't slipped up once, making a huge, life changing transition was way easier than I expected!..... Then I am going to assume you are lying to me or you are my friend Macaile, who for some reason has the self discipline of a saint. For me, on the other hand, I thought that journaling would be a great way to begin a new year... Well, my first journal entry of the year dates all the way back to 2 days ago...so there you have it folks, I'm a total flake. When I make promises to myself, I very rarely ever keep them. Sometimes I feel like I should just make a commitment to do things that I know I'm going to do anyways because I hate to let myself down. I mean, I really beat myself up about stuff and then after awhile I just figure that it's too late now, I'll just totally blow any self control to the wind and do whatever I want to do. I've been really letting all of this get to me lately and have began to get down in the dumps about it and hi, it's the 20th day of January...
If you can relate to this in any way, let me tell you something that I've come to the conclusion of, after much deep thought that has taken place in the past 5 minutes... Don't hurt yourself over it and don't give up on it! I would love to change my eating habits, in fact, I would like to change my entire lifestyle habit AND start journalling but I also think that we're exactly where we need to be for the changes we need to make for ourselves. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that, in order for us to become better versions of ourselves we need to do it with what we have right now, super cliche right? I know, I love it...but seriously we can try to blame it on the fact that we aren't close to a gym or that we can't afford fancy organic food, or that we don't have enough time on our hands, or that it's not really important anyway, or WHATEVER...but we can't let those things get the best of us because that's right where our progress, no matter how slow or fast it's been going, comes to a screeching hault. I've found myself in this position time after time and I have done well and then completely failed and tried to get back up, then life gets in the way, then, you're 6 months down the road wondering what you were going to do anyway... Story of my life!!
I don't know where you're at right now friend, I'm at the point where I'm trying to figure out how to trick myself into thinking carrots taste really good and working out is the best time of my life but it hasn't worked yet. I'm trying to tell myself that the new episode of Modern Family isn't really that important but it just sounds like the best thing that could happen to me at that very moment. So here's my new 11 month resolution and hopefully it'll work it's way into next year and beyond: I'm going to forgive myself. That's it. The more I think about the series of my life it's been a series of failures and resolutions, with a bit of stuffing my face to make me feel better mixed in between. I figure that by being able to forgive myself I can at least skip the part of eating my emotions away.
I'm really hoping this works for someone else other than me and I hope this can bring a little more clarity to your way of thinking. I truly believe that you are in the right place at the right time, to make the best decisions you can for a better life to live. I also think that if we fail, who cares!! Don't punish yourself over being human because when you put yourself in that position the next move is to give up. So, if you told yourself you were going to work out more and you started strong and your perseverance is fading then switch it up and make it as fun as possible. Can we just start loving ourselves again?! It's definitely something I've had the most difficult time with and I'm only 20 years old. I wish I had the same mindset that I did when I was 8 years old, not a care in the world as to what I looked like, what people thought of me or even what I was going to do the next day. I would give anything to have that back again! But the first step, I believe is to begin to forgive ourselves. C.S. Lewis said something that has always stuck in my mind :
“We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.”
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