Well I am pleased to inform you that this will be the last post of 2010. Lately I've been reflecting on the past year and recalling certain moments that could be defined as "life-changers", I won't go into those but we all have them and I believe there is some importance in remembering those moments. What I am wanting to talk to myself about today is how I can have more of those "life-changers" and I'm about to get real honest here, so if I happen to offend the 3 people that read this, I apologize...it's a life journey (hence the title of this blog) and I'm trying to pave my own path here.
I'm not really sure how to begin but there are a lot of people in my life right now that I don't agree with. I think they're making mistakes, worrying their lives away or just are plain old in a slump and it drives me crazy! I can talk all day about what I think these people should do differently but the more I've been thinking about it, the more I am realizing that everyone has their own path. I have been through hell and back a couple times and have come to realize that the people I thought were my friends, had no idea what was even going on in my life and the people that I thought were acquaintances were really the best friends I could have asked for. I've made the realization that although you have a "mom" and "dad" that they are also people going through their own battles and making their own choices. I've learned that you really can't trust everyone, even the people that are closest to you sometimes. I've come to the conclusion that the friends you've had for the longest amount of time aren't always your strongest friendships and the most important thing I've come to know is that we MUST become uncomfortable to grow. I'm going to repeat it again because I think it is so important: WE MUST BECOME UNCOMFORTABLE TO GROW.
So now I'm down to maybe 1 person who reads this and you're probably only half way paying attention at this point because I just kicked you where it hurts. I know it hurts me to think that way sometimes but I am also the most thankful for the moments where I pushed myself off the cliff, learned to enjoy the feeling of falling, hit the side a couple times and ended up flat on my face with a couple broken bones but was in a brand new valley that took me to a better place in my life and then repeated the action. Sometimes we don't always know how far the fall will be, sometimes we just need to start with jumping off baby steps to scare ourselves a little bit and then realize that we're okay after all. Either way, my challenge to everybody in their lives this next year is to walk up to the side of your cliff, whether that is taking a trip to someplace you've always wanted to go, or telling a person something you've always wanted to tell them, or branching out and making new friends, or moving away and pursuing your dreams but by all means, throw yourself off the edge. I promise it is the best thing you could ever do for yourself and if you can't think of anything that scares you then I encourage you to climb out from the rock you are living under and do something, take a risk, encourage others to take risks in their lives, come alive again, break out from your everyday routine and LIVE for heaven's sake, start somewhere!
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive. -John Eldredge
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. -Leo Buscaglia
Do one thing every day that scares you.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Death of Debbie Downer
Have you ever been mentally assaulted by something completely out of the blue? Today I was sitting at my desk at work, just organizing, doing simple tasks when I started thinking about my thoughts. I by no means have had a bad week, sure it's been stressful but for some reason my mind was tormenting me with horrible negativity. Anger, jealousy, sadness, I was beating up on myself for absolutely no reason at all. Then in a quick change I would go in the exact opposite direction and think "I am WAY to hard on myself, I work so hard, I deserve to treat myself". This thought then helping my validate bad behavior in a totally different way. How come I couldn't seem to balance my life? There was no neutral ground in my head, I was being harassed and had no idea how to stop it. I have been fighting with myself all day with trying to force myself to do things that I really do love doing but for some reason everything has been so much harder, not as fun, just being a total Debbie Downer and nobody wants to hang out with Miss Downer as we all know.
Then I started taking control of this. (Uhm hi, I'm in my second decade of life and now just learning how to stop thinking bad thoughts, go me...) I literally had to stop whatever I was doing at the time, oh yes, eating like I hadn't been fed in the last 2 weeks, to think about WHY I was being so crazy. This was hard to do, those ravioli's were starting to develop a very loud, convincing and distracting voice. So I started planting little thankful seeds in my head (this was easy seeing as how thanksgiving was just last week and I had lots of things fresh on my mind) Once I had crawled through the back door of my mind and fought Debbie Downer to the ground, tied her up and kicked her butt out the door I hung out for a bit and began to wonder how she even got there in the first place.
Recently, I've been taking many risks, putting myself out there, pushing myself out of "the box" and all of this seemed to be paying off. I am finally getting a grip of what I think I could ultimately see myself doing, at least for a little while. I am developing a sense of who I want to be, how I want others to see me, etc. As I've progressed in this direction I have had such a strong force against me and one of the ways that has been pressing me the most are these sneaky little things I think. It makes me realize that there is something that doesn't want me to progress, that wants me to stay stagnant and vegetative. So wouldn't that same press for inactivity want to tell me the opposite of who I am supposed to be? Could it be possible now, that I've finally developed a sense of self, that something is scared of the power that was vested towards me in the beginning and wants to lead me astray? So does this all in fact mean that every negative thought, belief, and insecurity of mine is indeed false and quite the opposite?
I think so.
I have come across the truth and realization that sometimes our greatest fears in life are often our greatest callings in life. We've all heard some sort of story that is similar: the great author/speaker who used to be shy and failed English class in high school or something to that extent. So my next thoughts are these: What is it that holds me back from my dream the most? What can I do to recognize these fears and remove them from my life in every way?
Then it's realized! Then I will pursue this and of course fail a couple times but I'm a work in progress
I always think that with so much focus on self at times it's easy to make that a bad habit instead of a good one so look around at everyone else that is signaling to you that they have weaknesses and fears and speak truth and power into their lives. That person who is constantly complaining that you typically try to stray away from probably has a major need for positive reinforcement in their life.
So I leave you with this: Whether Debbie Downer is your BFF, your worst enemy or that girl that always shows up uninvited to your party (in my case), believe in your deepest dream and don't let anyone tell you differently. Your fear(s) that seem overwhelming at times are usually a. not as horrible as they appear b. the breaking point for something amazing that is about to happen in your life. So go out and kick butt, take names and be who you were made to be. Also feed the needy people around you with blessed words because you just may need them in a time of weakness one day.
Peace, Love & Starbucks Holiday Cups
Then I started taking control of this. (Uhm hi, I'm in my second decade of life and now just learning how to stop thinking bad thoughts, go me...) I literally had to stop whatever I was doing at the time, oh yes, eating like I hadn't been fed in the last 2 weeks, to think about WHY I was being so crazy. This was hard to do, those ravioli's were starting to develop a very loud, convincing and distracting voice. So I started planting little thankful seeds in my head (this was easy seeing as how thanksgiving was just last week and I had lots of things fresh on my mind) Once I had crawled through the back door of my mind and fought Debbie Downer to the ground, tied her up and kicked her butt out the door I hung out for a bit and began to wonder how she even got there in the first place.
Recently, I've been taking many risks, putting myself out there, pushing myself out of "the box" and all of this seemed to be paying off. I am finally getting a grip of what I think I could ultimately see myself doing, at least for a little while. I am developing a sense of who I want to be, how I want others to see me, etc. As I've progressed in this direction I have had such a strong force against me and one of the ways that has been pressing me the most are these sneaky little things I think. It makes me realize that there is something that doesn't want me to progress, that wants me to stay stagnant and vegetative. So wouldn't that same press for inactivity want to tell me the opposite of who I am supposed to be? Could it be possible now, that I've finally developed a sense of self, that something is scared of the power that was vested towards me in the beginning and wants to lead me astray? So does this all in fact mean that every negative thought, belief, and insecurity of mine is indeed false and quite the opposite?
I think so.
I have come across the truth and realization that sometimes our greatest fears in life are often our greatest callings in life. We've all heard some sort of story that is similar: the great author/speaker who used to be shy and failed English class in high school or something to that extent. So my next thoughts are these: What is it that holds me back from my dream the most? What can I do to recognize these fears and remove them from my life in every way?
Then it's realized! Then I will pursue this and of course fail a couple times but I'm a work in progress
I always think that with so much focus on self at times it's easy to make that a bad habit instead of a good one so look around at everyone else that is signaling to you that they have weaknesses and fears and speak truth and power into their lives. That person who is constantly complaining that you typically try to stray away from probably has a major need for positive reinforcement in their life.
So I leave you with this: Whether Debbie Downer is your BFF, your worst enemy or that girl that always shows up uninvited to your party (in my case), believe in your deepest dream and don't let anyone tell you differently. Your fear(s) that seem overwhelming at times are usually a. not as horrible as they appear b. the breaking point for something amazing that is about to happen in your life. So go out and kick butt, take names and be who you were made to be. Also feed the needy people around you with blessed words because you just may need them in a time of weakness one day.
Peace, Love & Starbucks Holiday Cups
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