delivered

As I skimmed over the last post from the middle of this month I can't believe how much has happened. I can say that within a two week period God has shown up and delivered in ways that I could have never expected or deserved. After I tithed the $100 of the last of my money I received a call from my mom 2 days later saying that my grandma was willing to pay for my next month's rent at the place I was no longer living in (and still looking for a roommate at the time). My rent was $1,100, within 2 days God had returned my investment 11 times over. There is no way I could have ever asked anyone for that much money, nor could I have supplied it for myself, BUT GOD always has a plan. 

To continue with my next week, I had been praying constantly, over and over "God by the end of this week, I need a roommate to take my place". Well, as I'm sure we know or have heard God has a sense of humor and as I was busy making my own plan for what I wanted God to do, he had his own idea already set for me. Last Sunday, I had realized that I never published my post on craigslist for my apartment, so right before I went to church I published it and left. I checked my e-mail after church to find that a girl was interested in my place and wanted to check it out in a couple hours. We met up and she said she would "think about it and let me know". I was used to hearing this by now from a few other girls who wanted to see it. I figured she probably wouldn't call back and I would have to continue my search, entering into the last week of October. Before I even returned back to my new place I got a call from her saying she wanted to move in. I didn't believe it for a second and then after I hung up the phone started thanking God for once again, saving my hopeless self. 

Now as I arrive into the first week of November and begin my job search I have no doubt in my mind that He will continue to deliver in ways that I can't even imagine. 

We can second guess, freak out, set our own deadlines, put in all our effort, try and fail and try again then snap at God when he doesn't give us our way. OR we can choose to take the steps necessary to set God up for success in our lives. After we do that there is no need to stress and worry. I didn't get any call from anyone offering me 1,000 bucks or have someone e-mail me randomly asking if I had a place they could live in. I had to first give the last of my savings, then I had to post my ad up everywhere I could. After I did that I knew I could sit back and let God take over. That's what he promises.

Luke 11:9

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 

Psalms 23:4-6

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

in GOD we trust

There have been more than enough stresses being handed to me lately, as I submerge myself back into my school work for my last quarter here at FIDM I find myself in another new apartment, trying to find someone to take my place at the one I signed a year for last month, homework and working part time for an Interior Design firm. There are many twists and turns to my story that I don't really want to get into but let me tell you, I've never felt this much weight on my shoulders before in my life. As if the things to deal with in the front of my mind aren't enough I also have the lingering presence of what college I'm going to attend after I graduate here in 2 months, what kind of job I want to start looking for, preparing my portfolio, resume, business cards, website, etc. for future job interviews, it all is seeming quite tedious at the moment.

As my long list of to-do's sits patiently unfettered in my mind I can't help but hear the voice of God calling me to him, louder than it ever has before. I ask a question and can instantly hear a voice, not of my own, putting my anxiety back to a resting place in him.

This morning, as I was reading a passage in Matthew 6 about giving without expecting anything in return I immediately wasn't reading it for my own benefit. I figured that these were lovely words for someone who has money, time, energy and obviously no problems at all that they can then focus on other people. I stopped and cleaned up my breakfast mess and returned with a whole new perspective on this passage.

You see, I have $2.22 in an old banking account (that I still probably won't get rid of because I think it's awesome that it's 222) which is all I have to my name as far as the government knows. I've also had this $100 bill in a pretty little envelope entitled Lauren's Savings Envelope  (just in case an intruder was going through my stuff and wanted to know exactly where the rest of my savings was) that has been tucked away in my bible for quite sometime now. As I sat in some sort of meditative daze I heard God asking me to tithe my $100. For more than a year now, I haven't had a job that pays and have been relying completely on my parents or student loans to pay for school, rent, etc. So this $100 bill is the only thing left from any sort of pride that I may have. That, and $2.22...this money is rightfully mine, I've been diligent on keeping it and not spending this crisp little piece of paper.

As I pulled little Benjamin Franklin from my pristine envelope and examined my last resource, I realized that this money was not mine to begin with, it is God's. I started thinking about all that I had been through in the past year living in LA and how much I've had to rely on him, how he has always pulled through for me and now more than ever do I need him. I'm a mess without him and I need some sort of miracle to kick me out of this little rut. As I flipped the bill over I noticed the words at the top: 'IN GOD WE TRUST' and I couldn't help but smile.

I don't know who is reading this, it could be more people than I assume (and I assume no one will) but that's not the point. The point is, whatever you're going through, just know that you can trust God. He has always been there for you whether you know it or like it or choose to take advantage of it or whatever. All I can say is that it's worked for me, if I end up falling flat on my face at the end of all this then so be it. I've also learned that giving (in whatever form) is for everyone, not just those that have all the time and resources in the world but those who are in the midst of the hardship. How much more will God be glorified and those people be blessed when they give the last of what they have? THAT is trust. I'm choosing to put my confidence in the one and only folks, I hope you choose to do the same.

Matthew 6:19
¹⁹"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.